Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wow...just....Wow...

Geography tests have to be some of the most entertaining things to grade ever. ever. Well, entertaining or just plain sad, I haven't decided yet.

One friend of mine still asks me about the boy named Mitch who, when asked what country he lived in, wrote the answer, "Mitchigan." While that has to be the laugh-out-loud winner for the "I have no clue where I am" group, regional state tests have also been entertaining this time around.

First the "I'd like to laugh but probably shouldn't since I don't always remember north and south either:" Switching North and South Carolina around. I wanted to cry and tell this child that it only takes a few extra second to look over your answers and think, "hmm...north is up and south is down. hmmm...perhaps these are backwards."

But the winner for the laugh-out-loud moment in the southeast region? Pitying the poor people who live in "Vagina" or "West Vagina."

Friday, January 25, 2008

Reason # 561

Reason 561 why my children need to go outside for recess...

They're trying to walk around the room without touching the floor. The bottoms of desks, chairs, and other people's feet are all fair game. seriously, yikes.

Reason #489

Reason 489 why my children need to go outside for recess:
After being banned from playing with balls inside yesterday, I walk in the room to see ten of them, lined up on their knees next to the linoleum in my room, both hands on the floor, little rears sticking up in the air. As I watch, the kid at the far end of the line slides something down the linoleum to a kid at the other end. Everyone in the middle tries to smack it as it goes flying by. The lucky kid who catches it switches places with the kid who flung the thing in the first place. I take a closer look. They're trying to catch a penny. And when I ask, "What in the world are you doing?" this is the answer I get:

We're bored and we can't throw balls anymore. We had to do something.

Oh, of course...silly me. Please, God, let them be able to go outside for recess today!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

full moon's out tonight

I wondered what the deal was when the students who normally come into the room quiet as little mice threw a full blown party this morning. I continued to wonder when the very same students who had just heard the directions not once, or even twice, but three times stared blankly and asked me what to do next. I began to be even more suspicious when I spotted the teacher next door walking down the hall holding hands with two of her students because that was the only way they would keep their hands off of other students. I was absolutely certain when I watched two of my students shove and fling eachother around in the lunch line playing their newly invented game of "push eachother off the red line."

Ask any teacher, ER doc, nurse, paramedic, or police officer. The full moon really brings it out!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

and the winner is...

Winner of the oddest overheard conversation of the week (so far)...

Two students, both of them not the sharpest of the bunch, in the hallway after recess. (Names have been changed to protect the semi-clueless)

Student 1: No, you aren't drunk, Raoul!
Student 2: Yeah, I am!
Student 1: No, if you were drunk you'd be walking around in circles!
Student 2: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh *screamed while walking around in tight circles in my doorway.*

Yep - I'm in this for the sheer entertainment value!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I can see clearly now....

....the rain is gone (for now, at least...)

Praise God for sunshine!! The children are going outside for recess today!!

Yesterday was the second consecutive day of indoor recess. *thumps head into wall* As you can imagine, my very active group does not do well with indoor recess. Sitting quietly and playing nicely isn't really their thing. So they play games which involve balls...more specifically, throwing balls. So I'm sitting in my classroom during lunch recess, enjoying my chicken noodle soup (homemade by yours truly, thank you very much), when I see a student lugging a large box of poster paper towards me.

Now, my general policy on my location during indoor recess is "the farther away from my classroom, the better!" However, if I have to be in the room, my policy is "Pay no attention to the woman behind the desk! I'm not here, take your problem to someone who's in charge of recess." This may sound harsh, but I assure you, it's for my own mental sanity. And even with these policies, here comes this student dragging this bulky box of paper toward me.

Long story short: Miss L. was given an aromatherapy reed diffuser set for Christmas by one of her students. Since Miss L. lives in a teeny-tiny house, in which the lilac scent would be overpowering, she decided to use it at school. (Yes, you can probably see where this is going.) Silly, silly Miss L. apparently took leave of her senses when she came to this decision, thinking that a small container of scented liquid would be completely safe in her classroom. Students crazed by too much indoor recess hit the bottle with a ball, knocking it onto a giant box of poster paper.

At least now I can write gigantic love letters which will smell like lilacs....now....who to send them to??? :o)