Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Thumb Update

My thumb continues the healing process. After a couple days of my thumb being the warmest part of my body, the discoloration left. Now the tip feels all weird and thick (perhaps this is how guitar players feel after they've developed blisters?), and today it began Itching with a capitol I. I am fighting a losing battle with the continual urge to rub my thumb on the edges of whatever I come in contact with. I think soon it may start peeling, kind of like a sunburn, which is somewhat ironic, given that it seems like it's been years since it's been sunny/warm enough to actually get a sunburn.

(and little Miss Pharmer's Wife....no comments about the delightful weather in southern CA, either! Or I'll start praying you have to drive home in a blizzard! :o)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Occupational Hazards

...or, "Why God Made Ice Cream Scoops"

Oh, the things they don't tell you in teacher education programs!

We had ice cream left over from Valentine's Day. Knowing that if I took it home it would end up on my hips and thighs, I decided to use it for something else. My kids set math goals. Those who reached their goals this marking period got ice cream sundaes. All fine and good, except I forgot to bring my ice cream scoop from home on the day of the party. oops.

No problem, though, I decided to just use a plastic spoon, which didn't work as well, but it was OK.

Except.....
I ended up having to use my thumb to get a large enough scoop, and to get the ice cream off the spoon and into the bowl. Midway through dishing eight bowls of ice cream, I noticed my thumb was beginning to hurt quite a lot. I whined about it, and one of my girls asked if I had a glove. I did, but didn't want it covered in ice cream, so decided not to use it. My thumb continued to grow more uncomfortable; by the time I was finished it was burning. It continued to ache all night, and when I got up this morning, the skin on the tip of my thumb had turned white. Yup, the tip of my thumb suffered something between "frostnip" and "frostbite." WebMD says there won't be permanent damage because my thumb has "uninterupted sensation," meaning it still hurts like the dickens whenever I push on it.

Do you have any idea how many things you use the tip of your thumb for?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Picture this!

This is the lovely mental image that awaited me while grading my kids' published writing for this trimester:
"One day I was walking down the hall when I stumbled upon two Kidney Gardeners."

One has to wonder what, exactly, a garden of kidneys would look like. Do they grow above ground, or do the kidneys develop below ground like potatoes?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Oh, the drama!

As an elementary teacher, I hear them nearly every day. The "I don't feel good" stories. Today I'm in a fourth grade class, subbing for teacher who went home sick, and so the children have a new person to try their "I don't feel good" stories on.

The first one was easy. Right before lunch, little girl who had to have her friend come tell me she didn't feel good. My response: 1. She can't feel that bad if you're the one who's telling me. 2. Wait till after lunch because you might just be hungry. Watched very same little girl giggling, laughing, having a jolly old time at recess. And still she tried it after lunch. Yeah...she's staying here for the afternoon! :o)

The second one was more entertaining. During social studies, as I'm teaching, little boy comes up and tells me he can't breathe. I look at him. Color, normal; breathing sounds, normal. Already this was sounding suspicious. Kid looks at me; I look at kid.
I say, "Oh."
He repeats, "I can't breathe."
"Well, what do you think we should do about that?"
Shrugs shoulders.
"What would you like me to do about that?"
Shrugs shoulders again.
"I think you're going to be OK."
Shoots me a disbelieving look and mutters, "But I can't breathe," on the way back to his seat.

But my favorite "I don't feel good" story today is one I overheard in the hallway at lunch.
As "Billy" walks down the hall with the social worker, he is stopped by "Ralph," who very calmly says, "You hit me." Billy says he didn't, and Ralph corrects him. This apparently happened at recess, when Billy was messing around in line, he flung an arm and hit Ralph.
But the best part was Ralph's story, "Yeah, at recess, in line, you swung around and hit me right in the head, and now I have a huge bump there and I can't see so well and I'm probably going to have to go to the hospital and have all kinds of tests done and it really hurt."
This from a child who is walking upright, with no visible signs of distress, and not even an ice pack to cure his aching head. I had to walk away and restrain myself from laughing. If only we could find a way to harness this creativity and use it for the forces of good instead of the forces of excuse-making.....