Oh, the drama!

As an elementary teacher, I hear them nearly every day. The "I don't feel good" stories. Today I'm in a fourth grade class, subbing for teacher who went home sick, and so the children have a new person to try their "I don't feel good" stories on.

The first one was easy. Right before lunch, little girl who had to have her friend come tell me she didn't feel good. My response: 1. She can't feel that bad if you're the one who's telling me. 2. Wait till after lunch because you might just be hungry. Watched very same little girl giggling, laughing, having a jolly old time at recess. And still she tried it after lunch. Yeah...she's staying here for the afternoon! :o)

The second one was more entertaining. During social studies, as I'm teaching, little boy comes up and tells me he can't breathe. I look at him. Color, normal; breathing sounds, normal. Already this was sounding suspicious. Kid looks at me; I look at kid.
I say, "Oh."
He repeats, "I can't breathe."
"Well, what do you think we should do about that?"
Shrugs shoulders.
"What would you like me to do about that?"
Shrugs shoulders again.
"I think you're going to be OK."
Shoots me a disbelieving look and mutters, "But I can't breathe," on the way back to his seat.

But my favorite "I don't feel good" story today is one I overheard in the hallway at lunch.
As "Billy" walks down the hall with the social worker, he is stopped by "Ralph," who very calmly says, "You hit me." Billy says he didn't, and Ralph corrects him. This apparently happened at recess, when Billy was messing around in line, he flung an arm and hit Ralph.
But the best part was Ralph's story, "Yeah, at recess, in line, you swung around and hit me right in the head, and now I have a huge bump there and I can't see so well and I'm probably going to have to go to the hospital and have all kinds of tests done and it really hurt."
This from a child who is walking upright, with no visible signs of distress, and not even an ice pack to cure his aching head. I had to walk away and restrain myself from laughing. If only we could find a way to harness this creativity and use it for the forces of good instead of the forces of excuse-making.....