~ My new job description ~

Apparently, my job as an educator of today's youth includes dentistry.

Little M. came up to the student teacher yesterday to inform her that her tooth was hurting.

Ms. L gave the same response I would have given: "I'm so sorry. I know that's not fun. Since I can't really do anything about it, make sure you tell your mom tonight."

Today, M. told us her mom had a question for us. "She said to ask you if you're going to pay to get my tooth fixed since you didn't do anything about it."

Hmm. Like maybe pull out the novocain I keep stashed in the desk? Or maybe perform dental surgery right here and now? Because apparently it's now our job to educate, instill character, and keep track of every student's dental needs.

Because I need something else to do...

~ Use # 241 for Scotch Tape ~

My student teacher was observed today, which meant I was kicked out of my room for a bit. As I sat in the hallway, hole punching and filing paperwork, Mr. X across the hall stepped out on the phone. When the vice principal got on the phone, the following story unfolded...

K., a student in Mr. X's room, was having a rough morning. He'd been sent to the hall multiple times, where he disrupted other students and molded modeling clay around his nose. K. decided he was ready to come back in, and so Mr. X let him in.

Within 10 minutes of being invited back in, K. managed to get some Scotch tape. He decided to tape the inside of his throat. Yup, that's right, the inside. This had the unfortunate consequence of making him gag. And we all know where gagging can lead. Mr. X was calling to request clean up of his floor. Delightful.

My first thought was that apparently crazy had moved across the hall this year. My second thought...who would have thought Scotch tape could be used for such a purpose. I guess it's true...you learn something new every day.

~ Unexpected ~

Someone said the word "cock" during a spelling lesson in my classroom this week, and nobody even noticed. Well, except me, ready to give out the evil eye/teacher look to the first person who let out the tiniest little guffaw or poked the kid sitting next to them to giggle about the other meaning of that word. Except these weren't fifth graders, they were third graders, and not one of them even moved an eyelash.

How refreshing.

There've been some big changes to my little life recently. To recap:
* Last week of school in May, superintendant decides that one section of 5th grade will be cut. That means me. I think to myself, "Low seniority stinks!"
* In June, the school board asks the superintendant to find other places to cut besides fifth grade. He agrees and in July the board passes a budget which includes me keeping my place in fifth grade. I think to myself, "Yay!"
* In August, the secretaries come back to work and fifth graders begin withdrawing from the district in alarming numbers. My class list drops to 17. In the meantime, second and third graders begin enrolling in large numbers. I start thinking about what to do with all that extra room in my classroom.
* Six days before school starts, I get the call. I can keep my room, but I'm going to be teaching third grade.

I have mixed emotions about this move. I really love fifth graders, their independence and sense of humor.

But for now I'm enjoying the chance to play the game "Heads Up, Seven Up" without anyone rolling their eyes, that a couple of them sneak up to ambush me with hugs when I'm not expecting it, and not having to give a death glare to the kid who suggests another word for rooster during the spelling lesson.

~Mushrooms, revisited~

So my classes seem to have a theme of obsession with mushrooms. Field trip, shmield trip. We're looking at mushrooms!

Today was no exception. It was our annual trip to White Pine Village. It's a really cool restored historical village, with lots of activites for kids to do, and also a candy shop and an ice cream store, which, if you asked a fifth grader, are the most important stops in the village.

Except for this year.

I had my little group of seven. They stopped to see the old sawmill, which was operating today. The two boys were absolutely fascinated with the little hole in the wall where the sawdust was disappearing up a ramp. They politely asked the men running the sawmill if they could go behind the building to see the sawdust pile. Really valuable historical stuff, I'm tellin' ya! When the man said, "Sure," they turned around with the best can-we-can-we-oh-please look I've ever seen. Before my head had completed one entire nod, they were off.

We waited. And we waited. The girls, who were most definitely not interested in the sawdust pile, were about ready to mutiny and leave the boys behind because they were Hungry when the boys came roaring back, two huge white morels in their hands.

They showed their mushrooms off to everyone they could think of, ate their lunch in about twelve seconds, and then began begging to go mushroom hunting.

So we spent our last twenty minutes at the historic village mushroom hunting. Successfully. They found fifteen or twenty huge morels. They were so excited they even forgot to fight over who would take them home.

So chalk up yet another field trip in which my lovely children, when asked, would only be able to tell you about fungus. Yep...educationally valuable stuff!

~ To the Rescue! ~

Yesterday, it was Bitsy Bender. Today it's a bunch of lilacs. Saving my day, that is.

Yesterday was the first annual "NutriWalk" at our school. Kids walk about a mile, and then get healthy snacks and water as a gym activity. This involves a)riding a bus to the park, b)walking a mile and c)walking back to school, all of which are things that send my autistic one into fits of panic. Especially the bus. All I heard, all morning long, was that busses are bad, they can tip over, they're loud, they're too bouncy. And, oh, by the way, he hates busses.

We put his earplugs in, and since he's destroyed all his other little fidgety items, I frantically searched my desk for something he could fiddle with on the bus ride. And I found this:

Bitsy Bender. Given to me ages ago by a good friend. Bitsy was contorted, rocketed, magneted, and flipped all the way to the park. And not even one small, "Busses are evil," comment was heard. He was so calm when he got off the bus, he even completed the mile walk and the walk back to school without complaining. Truly, miracles do still happen.

Bitsy Bender saves the day.

And today, her superhuman counterpoint is.....a vase of lilacs. Stranger things have happened, I suppose.

It starts with what felt like a Monday morning. I didn't sleep well, I made the coffee too weak, I had to change my white shirt after a muddy dog decided to show love by jumping on me, I couldn't find my favorite jacket even after checking all the normal places, and I finally straggled into school thirty minutes later than I wanted to be.

Which is when A. showed up with a vase full of lilacs and this heart-warming statement, "Mrs. N, my mom wants me to give you these 'cause she doesn't like this vase anymore."

Ah, fifth graders. They still know how to make my day.

~Pass It Around~

I love this book.

It's a tale that starts out sounding like it's a simple childrens' story.

And then it starts hitting you right in the heart. "This is the danger of loving: No matter how powerful you are, no matter how many kingdoms you rule, you cannot stop those you love from dying."

Powerful stuff that most authors aren't brave enough to put in a childrens' novel.

Because I adore this book, I always read it aloud for my kids, and they always love it, too. We've used the book this year for lessons on quotation marks, paragraphs, plot structure, text-to-text connections, character development, and poetry writing.

Somewhere along the way it becomes clear that I've infected my kids. They start checking the book our of the school library. There's a bit of a waiting list for the copy I have in my room. They talk their parents into buying it from book orders.

This morning I had to ducktape the hardcover back on our classroom copy. The dust jacket has long since vanished. The pages are dog-eared and filled with old sticky notes marking someone's favorite passage.

Love of literature and stories is infectious.

Who have you passed the bug along to?

~Not Me! Monday~

I most certainly do not ever, under any circumstances, bribe children with suckers. And if I did, I certainly would never bribe them to run all the way down to the teacher's lounge to buy me a diet cherry pepsi because I need the caffeine. Nope, that would never happen in my classroom...