~You've Gotta Give Him Credit! ~

Grading Social Studies papers today....

Question: You are watching a home game of the Indianapolis Colts. What state are you in?

Correct Answer: Indiana.

Special Ed, See the World Differently Answer: I'd be watching it on TV, so I'm in Michigan.

~ The Tape Nazi ~

I'm usually pretty picky about what our school supplies are used for. If they're paid for with school money, they should be used for school purposes, not to tape your nose in a disgusting position, not to draw & color a cute little smiley face for your friend's locker, and not to create paper airplanes.

As picky as I usually am, during this year when our supply budget was reduced by half, I became extremely picky.

Kids are constantly wanting to use my tape for non-school-related projects. Taping pencils/pens/notebooks they destroyed back together, hanging decorations on their locker. Typically they ask, and I tell them no. But they keep asking. Until this year.

This year, C & H have become obsessed with paper airplanes. Not just simple four-fold paper airplanes...complicated airplanes, requiring not only paper, but paperclips, staples, and frequently, tape. The two of them learned the hard way not to use my stash of lined paper to fuel their obsession. Instead, they blew threw an entire three years' worth of accumulated scrap paper in about a week. Their numerous requests for staples, tape, and paperclips were also turned down in no uncertain terms.

And yet....I walk back into the room during our latest indoor recess to find C & H in the corner taping together yet another convoluted paper airplane with my tape!

Without a word, I walk over, pluck the tape dispenser out of their little paws, and deposit it in my desk drawer. Where it has stayed ever since.

Students who need tape for legitimate school purposes have been wandering around the room looking in vain for the tape. When they finally come to ask me about it, they find they must undergo interrogation to determine why they want the tape, and finally, they are given the least amount of tape possible for their school-related project and sent on their way.

The Tape Nazi - that's what they've turned me into.

~ The Little Things ~

Once a month, our school honors kids who have shown respect or friendliness for that month. Two kids from each class are honored at an assembly and the next week, they're given a special lunch to celebrate, as well. Each month, one teacher from each grade level is invited to join the kids during their special lunch, and this month...you guessed it...it was my turn.

I was not looking forward to cafeteria pizza, although I was pleasantly surprised to find a huge assortment of fresh fruit, and a really yummy chocolate and coconut filled cookie for dessert. I was also not looking forward to being in the cafeteria during fifth grade lunch. The lunch ladies routinely call the fifth grade teachers to tell us how loud, noisy, and bad the kids are during lunch. But it truly wasn't as noisy as I thought it would be.

The highlight of my lunch came about two minutes in. The pizza came directly out of the oven and was served to us too hot to eat. A couple of the girls tried to pick it up, but put it back down right away. I decided to open my fork and knife to cut my pizza. The girls sitting around me all gasped.

"Where did you get that fork?" they asked.

I showed them the baggie with the plastic fork and knife, and soon they were all tearing into them, cutting their pizza into bite sized pizzas. "We only get sporks in the cafeteria," they told me, "it's so cool that we get real forks!"

Sometimes it's the little things we take for granted.

~ Valentine's Day: Bah, Humbug! ~

I am a little less than fond of holidays which require a classroom party. Valentine's Day is one of those, and in order to make the beginning of the week run a little bit smoother, the fifth grade celebrated early, having our parties on Friday last week. The kids came in this morning ready to work, settling in to our writing assignment very nicely.

Until....

Morning announcements began as usual, with a fifth grade student reading birthdays and other details over the school's P.A. system, then leading us in the Pledge of Allegiance. We finished the Pledge, but the announcements didn't stop.

First, the music teacher announced that a group of "special people" would be singing a little tune for Valentine's Day. Then there were three heavy, huffing breaths directly into the microphone. At this point, my class was at a low buzz wondering what was happening. Then came some nearly non-melodic singing, which dissolved into a sort of non-rhythmic rapping, none of which could be understood over the P.A. My formerly calm class was now giggling and growing louder by the moment.

Then, as if enough hadn't already been done, the announcement came to turn our TVs to channel 18.

I shouldn't have listened.

Played for the whole school, channel 18 was the music teacher in his room singing, clapping, and doing a little Valentine's Day song with motions. My class was speechless for about an eighth of a second, before they all started talking at the same time.

Five minutes later, we were calm and back to work again. Finally.

Call me a Scrooge, but seriously...bah, humbug Valentine's Day!

~ A Math Conundrum ~

Math assignment today: Choose 1 from the easy problems. Choose another 7 from the harder problems for a total of 8 problems.

Student: "If I do two problems from the easy section, can I count it as one harder problem?"
Me: "I guess that would work."
Student: "So if I do all four easy section problems, I can count it as two problems?"

What I Wanted to Say: "So, just to be clear, you're asking me if you can do 10 problems instead of 8? Go for it - you can use the extra practice."

What I Actually Said, With a Long Pause, Giving The Impression That I Really Didn't Want To Say Yes: "Well, I guess that would be OK."

~ Miraculous Momma!~

We have a daily planner in fifth grade. We call it the assignment book. Each day has a space for the kids to write their assignments for the day in every subject, then check off when they've finished them. Unfinished work goes home for homework. Mom/Dad/Guardian initial each day so I know they've seen homework and reminders. The kids bring it back to school and I check to see their parent looked at it. If they haven't had their parent initial it, they have to stay in for part of recess.

For a few weeks, I've suspected that D has been faking the parent initials in his assignment book so he doesn't have to stay in at recess. I had trouble proving it, though, since other correspondence with mom showed that she had childish handwriting herself. So I waited, and sure enough, D tripped himself up.

I greet the kids at the door in the morning, and when D came to the door, no assignment book. I asked him where it was, and he told me he forgot it in his desk the night before. I made a mental note and waited to see what would happen before recess when I checked for parent initials.

I got to D's desk and he showed me his section for the day, all filled out. Then we turned our attention to the section for the previous day, and miraculously, mom had initialed it. Since I had a few more kids to get out to recess, I quietly asked D to wait for me in the room next door. He sputtered and tried to ask how long, but in the end went. When everyone was gone, I brought him back over.

"So, your mom must be pretty amazing, since she managed to sign your planner last night while your assignment book was locked up in your desk at school. How did that happen?"

D unfortunately chose to feign ignorance; he had no idea how this had happened. I waited him out - he was sent next door until he chose to be truthful with me. He actually whined about being bored on one of the moments when I went over to ask if he was ready to tell me the truth. After many hours, he finally came clean. Of course, his hours of stonewalling only made the consequences worse. Too bad his miraculous momma wasn't there to somehow bail him out!