...alternate title...These Things Only Happen To Me.
Thing One: How to continue teaching while in the middle of a massive nosebleed.
Shockingly, this topic is not covered in Introduction to Teaching Elementary, nor in any other college course. Fifth graders tend to understand that they need to chill and let you take care of things, so when you tell them to just work at their desks, they do it. Third graders, on the other hand, continue to bring you their worksheets to tell you they're finished, or that they don't get what to do. Luckily, Ms. L. rescued me and played Addition/Subtraction Bingo for fifteen minutes while my blood clotted.
Thing Two: How to get candle wax out of berber carpet so the principal and/or head of maintenance won't find out you spilled wax on the carpet and ban candles from your room, thus forcing you to endure the smell of ripe children.
While carpet cleaning is not on the list of topics, learning to teach cause and effect is. Observe: Because of the massive nosebleed, Ms. L played Bingo with my kids. Because Ms. L. was playing Bingo, she needed suckers for prizes. Because she needed suckers for prizes, she used the sucker jar on my desk. Because she used the sucker jar, the recently lit candle sitting next to it was accidentally knocked on the floor. Because it was knocked on the floor, candle wax splattered all over the carpet. Because of that, I learned something new today. Thanks to google, I now know that the best method for removing wax from carpet is to place an absorbant paper towel over the wax, and then iron the paper towel, causing the wax to melt and be absorbed into the towel.
So even though my carpet will probably have a slightly pinkish spot until they shampoo it next summer, and my room will likely smell like Cinnamon Apples for several weeks, I don't think anyone will notice....
unless you tell them, that is.....shhhh!
